People Change People

The power or relationships. I have recently had a lot of time to think about the people I have chosen as mentors or simply people of influence in my life. This is not to say that I hand picked people and said “you will be my mentor”. In my case, mentors are the people that I've invested my time with because they are people that I already want to be around. I often call them  friends rather than mentors. But here's the thing: either way, depth in relationships will change you, whether you like it or not.

I feel so abundantly blessed to have so many incredible individuals to look up to that it can be overwhelming at times (in the best way). Honestly how in the ACTUAL HECK did I get so lucky?!? Here are just a few:

1. Jenn

Over the past three-ish years, I have watched Jenn walk out her calling to foster. From praying for her on a summer night on a pier in Port Dalhousie, to crying together on her couch as she says goodbye to a child, I have watched her calling as a foster parent transform not only her, but me too (not to mention many others). Her deep desire for God's will and her willingness to love deeply has changed the way that I see servanthood, unconditional love, and parenthood.

There are many people who say that fostering is hard. And that is no lie. The way that Jenn has carried herself and her family through this past season of grief has been nothing short of beautiful. Beauty is not picture perfect, all smiles, or convenient. Jenn has shown me the beauty in the messy, in grief and in daring to hope for restoration to their broken hearts. She is someone who presses in when she is struggling, digs deeper when she is hurting, and is not afraid to sit with God in her pain. I cannot emphasize enough how much I love Jenn and how much I strive to have that kind of strength and heart.

2. Sandra 

Sandra is among the most driven, adventurous, and fun people I have ever met. She has been a support and a listening ear in more ways than one. She is confidently and authentically herself and a beautiful communicator. 

The way that she conducts her life and businesses with such integrity and easygoing nature makes me literally want to be her when I grow up. I have found that it is rare to find that kind of combination. When you meet someone with that kind of thoroughness and strong integrity, you do not always think “easygoing and adventurous” but that is exactly Sandra. When I go to her for advice, I know I will be met with honesty and depth. She also has this amazing talent to take a big project and see the exact spot where you need to start. I don’t know if I would have begun this blog space without her encouragement, inspiration, and intentionality.

3. Alyssa

Alyssa is quite literally a soul mate. No one understands me more than her and I am so abundantly blessed to have her as an intricate part of my story. When you find someone who knows what you're thinking based on how you are breathing, you know you have found something pretty special. 

It is crazy to realize how much we have grown together. We have quite literally been side by side for the past 10 years and it shows. She is the number one person whom I will accept constructive criticism from and that is not only because she knows me better than I do sometimes. Alyssa operates in this beautiful, gentle but firm space. She consistently sees the best in people and gives people the benefit of the doubt, but is still able to gently ask important questions. Her heart is kind and strong. She also has this incredible ability to make you feel safe being exactly where you're at and truly has God’s heart for people. Alyssa is such an embodiment of grace and I am grateful to have her as not only a best friend but as an example to look up to.

I don’t always love the word “mentor”. Maybe it's because it seems incredibly formal which is not really my style. Maybe it's because the depth of these relationships feels deeper than “mentoring”. These ladies are people with whom I do life. We cry, we laugh, we garden, we clean, we do errands together, and we don't usually have time to just sit and catch up. But I don't think I would want it that way. I have learned so much more from each of them by being in the dirt (sometimes literally) with them than I could have from occasional coffee dates. 

Surround yourself with people who will not only support you, but also stretch you. Surround yourself with people who have similar passions, but different approaches. Surround yourself with people who will teach you new things, but never fail to see the good in you, too. 

In the end, you choose who you surround yourself with. If there is something you want to grow in, get to know someone who thrives where you want to grow.  It may just change your life and your heart forever.