Just Sit.

In a hallway, when I realized it was real and she was leaving. You sat. I cried. You sat.

On my couch, when the grief overwhelmed me and made me feel like I could would never come back from it. You sat. I cried. You sat.

In the car, when I cried out that I felt lost and didn’t know where I had gone and that I had lost my joy. You sat. I cried. You sat.

In my room, when I believed that I couldn’t possibly move out because goodbye sounded like the most painful word after she left. You sat. I cried. You sat.

In my darkest days, they were there and they sat. I don’t think I could have gotten through this past season without their willingness to sit while I cried. Don’t underestimate sitting with someone. Sitting is a powerful stance. 

There are numerous reasons why sitting is a stance of strength, unity, and love.

Photo by Michelle Sypkes

Sitting is a powerful stance because it is often a stance of humility and surrender. When we choose to sit in something instead of act, we choose to wait for wisdom. We take the time to realize that we do not always know enough to handle something well. It is much easier to jump into something and “just figure it out” than to sit and wait to hear from God. In certain situations, there can be an element of embarrassment of not knowing what to do about something. It is so important to take those moments and choose humility and wisdom. 

Sitting is a way to pause. You sit and you stop what you are doing and you start to see more clearly. When we pause in the midst of chaos and mess, we stop focusing on the small details and start to see a fuller picture. When we see a fuller picture, our priorities are different than when we can only see certain details in high definition.

When you are loving someone well, you don’t tower over them. You get onto their level and you sit. You meet them exactly where they are at. That is what Jesus does for us and that is how we are called to love others. When you meet someone where they are at, it is not about quick fixes. It is about slow moving, baby steps forward and sitting patiently together. When you sit with someone, you are choosing to be present and to stay. 

Sometimes the most powerful part of friendship isn’t in the adventures, the time spent together laughing, pictures of beautiful moments, deep conversations, or inside jokes. The most powerful moments of friendship I have experienced have come from sitting together in hard moments and not being afraid to just sit and be.

Don’t get me wrong, don’t sit there forever. You are not created to sit in the pit forever. 

But the space to grieve, to be sad, and to be upset, needs to exist. If it doesn’t exist, then are we really being honest with ourselves and allowing God to work in every situation? What I mean is that when we choose not to feel those emotions at all, it doesn’t give God as much space to heal our hearts. It is us saying, “just be positive”; “I can get through this”; “I am strong enough”. 

But what if we realized that we aren’t strong enough? What if we realized that is the whole point - That we are not strong enough? We are made not only to rely on God, but we are also made for one another. I think there is a lot less pride and a lot more humility when we realize that we are not strong enough on our own.

In your darkest moments, let others sit with you in that darkness. Let God sit with you in it. Let the sitting create a pause to just be, and embrace it all. And then slowly let the light back in. Let the one true healer heal your heart.

When you see someone who is being smothered in darkness, it can be intimidating. You want to help so bad, but you are not sure where to start. Start with sitting. Start with listening. You are not going to be the healer of their darkness, God is. Let Him work through you.

When I was surrounded by darkness and confusion, all I needed was for people to sit with me. I didn’t need advice or for people to tell me to be positive. When I felt lost, all I needed was to sit with God. He found me and pulled me out. I needed to be in the darkness for a while. I needed to learn to sit (and I am still learning). My advice for when you are overwhelmed, confused, hurting, or simply wanting to hear God’s will: just sit.